A World Entirely My Own

Do you ever cry at the silliest of moments?

I always have.

When Matthew died in Downton Abbey, I sat in my chair & wept. When leaving vacation, I aways start crying, for reasons I can’t explain. When I read a good book, or see a beautiful sunset, or stare at a work of art, I cry. My eyes get red & burn & fill with salty water. This well of emotion runs so deep that I cannot contain it all, and my soul needs release. I cry.

So, as I stood on Coral Cove Beach in Jupiter, Florida this weekend, I felt the overwhelming need to sit on one of the rocks jutting out over the crystalline waters & weep. I didn’t, because people were waiting on me, and I didn’t want to be a bother. Still, I felt my eyes welling up with those sweet tears that roll out of the sides of my eyes. I stood by the shore, letting those blue waters wash over my feet, my soul in awe of so many things.

I never thought I would be here: looking at this bright, blue expanse, knowing that this is my home. Talk about surreal. I never thought this life could get better, or more adventurous, or more exciting. I thought I had had all of my adventures. I thought I was getting ready to settle down. And, truly, I thought the dreams & longings of my heart had long been forgotten by the God who sits in heaven.

Psalm 107:8&9 reads, Oh, that men would praise [and confess to] the LORD for His goodness & lovingkindness & His wonderful works to the children of men! For He satisfies the longing soul & fills the hungry soul with good. (AMPC)

Sometimes, it is so hard for me to realize that God takes me into account when He ordered the stars. That He knew me before the sun hung in the sky, and He was thinking about me & all that I would be. It is so hard for me to believe that He will satisfy my soul & fill it with good things.

But in all reality, nothing escapes His notice, and nothing is too big or too small for Him to care about. I lay in bed the other night in wonder at how God doesn’t forget. My dream of living near the beach has always seemed so distant, one of those things that maybe gets pinned on Pinterest but never really happens. But God made it happen, no matter how far down the road it may have been. God loves to fulfill the longings of our hearts.

Which is why I was laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, when this thought stuck to my brain: If God has made this dream come to pass, He will make others a reality; I only have to wait on Him. It was revolutionary to me. My entire being shifted focus, and the hopelessness that I had carried flew away. The weight of the dreams that had seemed so heavy was now light as a feather. I realized that there was & is no thing too great for God to accomplish.

But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change & renew their strength & power; they shall lift their wings & mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run & not be weary, they shall walk & not faint or become tired. Isaiah 40:31 (AMPC)

That verse became so real to me. Waiting on the Lord is not supposed to be wearisome or tiring. It should be a time of rejoicing & life, for we know that He is good & will come through for us.

Don’t despair, my friends. God laid a world inside of you, a world that is entirely your own to believe in & dream in & manifest someday. Your dreams matter. The heart God placed inside of you was put there before time began so that you could make a difference. God didn’t put it there to waste away. He didn’t put it there to make you feel bad. He didn’t put it there to shame you or blame you for not taking the right chances. He didn’t put it there to be useless.

He put it there so that you could do great things, and you will do great things.

Just wait.


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